To me, I guess not.
"Kathleen. Good God, Kathleen! Do not ever do that again, you hear me?" the Chief said.
"Guess she was excited to see me. Seems I have that effect." he said with a wink.
If the situation wasn't so embarrasing, I'd have barfed right there & then.
I stood up, brushing the Chief & Grant or Agent Z-something's assistance (How come his code name is cooler? I mean, it starts with a Z) & faced the Chief.
I couldn't face Grant, of course.
His predictable smirk'd be planted on his face, along with that stupid stand of his.
"Well, Chief. What's the mission?" I said, trying to sound as cool as I can.
"It was you who had requested my presence, Kathleen. Not the other way around."
So much for the "cool" image.
"Oh. Yea."
Someone. Shoot me now.
"Um... Well, L&C are acting kinda funny. I mean, they haven't been showing off their clothes to me like they usually do. Something's not right." I said.
"I thought you hated Leia & her clique?" Grant queried.
I primly ignored him & waited for the Chief's opinion.
"Well, Kathleen. This is not a worldly issue nor is it disrupting anything on the planet. I do not have any rights to investigate in this field. I'm sorry, Kathleen."
You know what, just hand me the gun.
"Oh. Sure. Well, bye Chief." I headed for the door & hope that Grant'd just stop smirking already.
"Kat, I'm warning you. Don't make me go all Mom on you." he said in a warning tone.
I rolled my eyes & decided to put up with it. I've been through alot in just one day - what's the harm of having someone to nag at you?
He opened his mouth - I could tell. He sucked in his breath so loudly - but got immediately cut off when the doorbell rang.
'Saved by the bell!' I thought & ran towards the door.
"Y-yes?" I panted, because, believe me. I ran.
I wished that I didn't open the door because... Guess who was grinning at my front porch?
"May I help you?" I said, trying really hard not to show that I had this urge to punch him in the snoot.
How dare he show up here?
Again?
"Well... My car needed a little spin so I thought, what better way than to invite one of my dearest friends?" he said casually, leaning against the doorway frame.
"Oh. Look at the time! It's past my curfew!"
"At 7 in the evening?" he replied skeptically.
"Yea, my brother's tough that way."
"I'm not tough! Go ahead & take her!" a voice called out behind me.
'Traitor!' I screamed in my head as I grabbed my coat & followed Grant, grudgingly.
"Nice car." I hesitated to say, but I did anyway.
"I know." & got in.
The engine purred like a kitten.
'Sweet.' I thought & strapped myself in.
"So where're we going?" I asked as he pulled down the top.
"Somewhere..." he said with another one of his grins.
"Oh my God. You're actually taking me to Soul Swap?" I said, trying not to sound so aghast.
"Well. Yea. It's cool. There's this lady who reads your-"
"Fortunes. Yea, I've heard. But it's kind of... Fake. Why bother knowing of your future? I don't want my fortune to be told."
"Okay, fair enough. But they make a mean cup of Chinese tea. So we're going in."
I smiled before I realised what I was doing.
'No, Kat! He's the enemy.' I thought, trying to sound scathing.
Not scathingly enough, though.
Grant showed two fingers to the waitresses & she gave him a nod - & a wink (gag!).
I didn't know whether he winked back because I was a little too grossed out... & weirded out.
What was I doing at a place where some lady tells me when I die & sip leaf tea or something with GRANT?
"Look. I just wanted to tell you... The whole deal with the odd jobs? The Chief wanted you to get to know me better." he said while doing the hand gestures of the inverted comas.
Oh. He's explaining. I guess that's good of him.
"But I already told him there's no need since obviously you'd instantly like me." he said with another one of his trademark winks.
Like I said.
Once a pompous ass, always a pompous ass.
Our knees brushed together under the table. I don't know whether that was accidental or on purpose but for some unfathomable reason, my face suddenly felt a little hot.
& out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grant smiling.
Ew.
One of the Chinese waitresses came over & gave us a plate of two complimentary fortune cookies.
"Hey, c'mon. Shall your fortune be told?" he said, doing a good immitation of a mind-reader.
I rolled my eyes as I laughed inwardly.
We broke our fortune cookies at the same time. I read my fortune quietly.
Two appears, you are confused. Make a decision and watch one with a heavy heart while having another in hand.Sure. That made sense.
Not.
Grant looked at me with an intense gaze at the corner of my eye.
I looked up & he quickly looked down at his fortune cookie, pretending that he still hasn't finished reading his fortune yet.
"Hey, what does yours say?" I said, trying to make conversation for a reason I shall never know.
"Kinda dumb, really. But it's-"
I never did get to find out what he wanted to say because at the exact moment a loud voice boomed in the tent-like building, "Ladies & gentlemen! Presenting... Madame Vista!"
My table was probably the only table who didn't cheer for Madame Vista. If it wasn't for the fact that she was standing up there on the stage, distracting everyone with her dazzling (fake) gems, the audience would probably be throwing rotten vegetables at Grant & I for not cheering.
"Now. Who would like their future to be told?" the woman - most likely in her early 50s. Or was that just the Botox? - said, pushing the furry scarf behind her neck.
Millions of hands shot up into the air, as if we were in a classroom & all of them were show-off students.
"How about you, young man?" she said, pointing to a guy way back at a corner, sitting with a blonde.
'Why does he seem so familiar...?' I thought to myself.
"Hey, isn't that Chaz?" Grant said, sitting up a little straighter.
"No!" I gasped, not being sarcastic for once.
It is! He was walking up onto the stage, the spotlight following him.
& the blonde he was hanging out with?
It was Leia, who was bouncing up & down, probably cheering the loudest for him.
"I do need another person, please. Any volunteers?" Madame Vista said as Chaz sat down.
"You there, boy! The one sitting next to the brunette there. Come, come, come! Madame Vista awaits!”
Was it me or was she pointing at Grant?
Because that’d be funny, seeing as he was sitting next to me & I am, after all, a brunette.
Grant also had a problem swallowing this - he looked around & pointed at himself, just to make sure to not make himself look like a bigger idiot than he already is.
When Madame Vista nodded, he came up & walked onto the stage. The audience began to cheer so loudly (majority are girls) when he began to do that confident strut of his.
Chaz & Grant looked at each other & gave a nod of acknowledgement to each other as they both sat down at the three-seated table on the stage, a crystal ball on the table.
Madame Vista sat down in between the two - tons of girls would have died in her place. I could tell - & linked with each other's hands.
Then, she closed her heavily-made up eyes & started to hum.
I saw that the duo upstage didn’t know what to do, so they just hummed along with her.
Soon, everyone started humming & the whole building began to sound like my phone on silent-mode.
Finally, she looked up & opened her eyes. She began to form her words into a chant, a plea, even.
‘To the spirits,’ I thought whimsically.
“O’ Spirits, dear,
Listen to my plea.
I sense a disturbance ‘tween the two,
So listen my chant here.
I beg of switching souls,
A thing I know unheard.
But if it works, shall it last ‘till mid of the night,
24 hours from now, no fear."
The lights began to flicker & I felt a cold air pass by.
No… It must be my imagination.
Maybe some big window opened somewhere.
Suddenly, the room went dark. The lights went off & instead of the audience going mad as if some winged-monkey was running somewhere, they gasped excitedly & astonishingly.
Which was pretty stupid, even more stupid than screaming like babies, to me.
A few seconds later, the lights came back on again. I looked at the main-power switch box, expecting someone to stand there but no one was there.
‘Huh. Burnt fuse.’ I guessed in my head.
I looked back on the stage & saw the guys & Madame Vista sitting at the exact same position, only that the other two had a blank expression on their faces, as if they’ve just woken up from a deep sleep or something equally abrupt.
“Give a big hand to them, ladies & gentlemen!” Madame Vista said, somehow loudly & wispy at the same time.
The audience went wild with adoration & the lady with the turban just stood on the stage, clearly absorbing every single moment of it & loving it.
The guys both went down the stage at the same time, but headed in different directions.
I was expecting Grant coming towards me - not like I was looking forward to it, but I was expecting for it - but instead, he went the other way & headed towards the blonde. The same blonde which Chaz was hanging out with before the show.
Men. All the same. Attracted to the same hot chicks.
Hmm, maybe he was after the girls Chaz was hanging out with. That’d explain everything.
Um, except for two things, though.
One - Why attack Chaz’s girls (or whatever) when he could attract girls just as well - or even better?
Two - That’d mean he likes me - which would never happen.
Anyway, I just sat there, couldn’t help gaping at the scene when all of a sudden, Chaz came towards me casually - as if we had no big fight, thanks to the guy before.
“Hey, some show, right? I mean, who was she trying to kid?” Chaz said to me as he sat down across me.
“Um. Yea. Who was she trying to kid?” I echoed, clearly stupified that my ex-boyfriend/boyfriend/whatever was still talking to me. Even though none of it was my fault.
But still.
“There something wrong? It‘s like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Chaz said.
“Well. You know, I guess it’s great that you’re speaking to me but. You know, it’s kinda all of a sudden kinda thing.”
“What? I wasn’t speaking to you? But I was talking to you before the show, remember?” he said, clearly oblivious that we were still in a fight.
Wait… What? He spoke to me before the show?
The only person who was talking to me before the show was…
“Grant?!” I said, nearly shouting out loud
“Duh. Who do I look like - Chaz?” he said, looking a little irritated, as if I was playing a game on him or something.
When truly, it was the other way around.
“Um.” I said intelligently & handed him my compact mirror.
He flicked it open, deciding to just play along with my game & looked at his reflection.
At first he was grinning, that grin Grant'd usually give.
Only this time, when he saw his reflection at the compact mirror, that smirk was washed off his face & his face became as pale as mine.
"Wh-what?" I heard, for the first time in my life, I actually heard Grant - or in this case, Chaz - being...
Well, scared.
"Yea, I know. Look, we better grab Grant - I mean, Chaz - before he does anymore damage." I said, nodding in Grant's - ugh! Chaz's - direction.
Grant nodded & we both began to walk over towards Chaz, just when the Chinese tea & complimentary fortune cookies arrived.
He left his fortune on the table, I realised & I quickly grabbed it, along with mine, & stuffed it in my pocket.
"Maybe we should call the Chief?" I panted as we gave up in our vain attempt to chase Chaz & Leia.
"That'd be... A good idea." Grant panted back.
I tapped a button on the side of my watch & saw a hologram of the Chief.
"Chief." I said, trying to hide my exhaustion. "Look, something weird just happened &-"
"Good Lord, Kathleen! Why call at this time of night?!" Chief said, looking outraged.
"No, this is important! Really. Look."
I passed my watch to Grant & the Chief practically screamed at me.
"Agent AZ27! What in God's name do you think you're doing?! You could have your head in suspension, young lady! I am warning you, we must immediately take him down to the memory-clearance centre! Do you hear me?! Immediately! & if he's-"
"Chief!" I nearly screamed back, but quickly got a sharp nudge from Grant, reminding me that he is my boss.
"I mean... Uh... Chief. This is..."
"Agent ZX12, reporting for duty, Chief." Chaz-lookalike said.
The hologram projected the vision of a very, very pale-looking boss sitting behind his desk, on the verge of passing out.
Of course, he can't do that because... Well, next to passing out in front of your boss, the most embarrassing thing is passing out in front of your employees.
"What the blazes is going on?" the Chief exclaimed, looking so surprised like we just gave him a stripper in a birthday cake or something.
"We-ll, sir. It's like this..." Grant was already starting to rattle of but I quickly cut him off.
"We're in deep trouble, Chief. Cut short? Grant & Chaz went up to some whack-job fortune teller & voila! A Chaz knock-off." I said, presenting Grant like a showgirl.
The Chief opened his mouth to say something but suddenly, his face wore this grim expression.
His hand raised up eerily & dropped down on his table, his fist landing on a button, I think.
5 seconds later, a helicopter was hovering above our heads & a rope ladder appeared.
"After you." Grant/Chaz said courteously, with a mock bow.
“So. Do let me understand this.” the Chief said while rubbing his temples, a sign that I know so well - he’s stressed-slash-confused.
Hey, I have been with him for a long time.
“This fortune teller happened to switch one of my best agent’s…?” he trailed off, not knowing what to say. “Soul.” I said. “Right. Grant’s soul.” he said unbelievingly.
A little whimsically, even.
“With your boyfriend, who is currently running off with a… A tramp, was what you said, Agent AZ27?” the Chief asked.
“One - he’s not my boyfriend.”
“He’s not?” Grant butted in, looking very amused.
Man, even though he’s practically in another body, he still can give me that look. The one where I’d always want to slap off his face - in this case, my ex’s face.
Oh wait. Slapping an ex’s face is normal, right?
“& two - yea, tramp. Remember, Chief? She’s Leia. Only… She’s not. Like she’s being nice or something.” I said, ignoring Grant as usual.
The Chief was looking really tired, like he wished he was back in his bed with his wife or something, instead of being stuck here with his two agents - one who just got dumped & was probably taking her anger out on him. The other swapped with one’s body.
I can’t say I blame the guy, really.
“Agent AZ27, how many times must I inquire this to you? Perhaps by chance, this tramp of yours must have decided to turn over a new leaf, make a fresh start, seeing as how many of your girls loathed her.” the Chief said - okay, ranting. He was ranting.
“Look, if Grant turned over a new leaf, then, maybe that’s believable enough. Or even me. I mean, hello? My longest - & first - boyfriend whom I’ve known since birth has officially dumped me thanks to someone.” I tossed a murderous glance to Grant, who looked dubious to his surroundings.
“But Leia? Leia turning over? Hah. That’s like having a tiger changing its stripes.” I spat & turned around to fume.
I could already tell the scenario behind my back - the men in the room were just exchanging glances, thinking What’s up with her?.
Only, I don’t think the Chief says anything that doesn’t sound posh, being a British & all.
& yea, Grant’s a British too - he managed to hide his accent alot when he was in school, but in real life - spy life, he’s a true British-blooded teen.
I kinda found that out when he tried to make small talk with me.
Well, buddy, I know the whole "Hi-I'm-gonna-be-your-lazy-ass-partner-Glad-to-be-here!" routine.
I turned aroud & said, "So?"
A little too Leia-ish.
I cleared my throat & murmured, "Sorry."
The Chief gave a nod to me & paused. "I'm sorry, Kathleen. But this matter is simply not world-endangering. There is nothing I can do here. Now carry on with your date."
With that wave of his hand, I knew I was dismissed. But I opened my mouth to protest that I was not on a date with Grant.
Ew.
Before I even had the chance, Grant spun me around by the shoulder & walked with me towards the door.
"It's not fair! I mean, you're in Chaz's body, for crying out loud!" I said as we walked in the park.
"Not quite a good look for me, is it?" Grant joked.
I couldn't help but laugh.
Woah. He had humour?
Impressive.
Suddenly, we went quiet.
Just the sound of dry leaves being blown by the autumn wind.
"So... At least now you'd be a little comfortable. You wouldn't have to look at my face." he said quietly.
I kept quiet & looked up at him.
Why would he say that?
He had a nice face & all.
It's just the look he gives me, I can do without.
"Why would I be comfortable seeing Chaz everywhere? We did break up, you know." I said.
He opened his mouth to say something but didn't have time to say whatever he wanted to say because we had already reached at my doorstep.
"Night." he said instead & walked off, the fog making his figure look like a shadow.
I still couldn't help thinking it's that Madame Vista who's behind this. I mean, think about it.
What was her chant?
"I beg of switching souls"?
That's it! It was her!
Some weird voodoo thing she put on Chaz & Grant!
I was wondering though how Chaz was handling this, looking like Grant situation.
I found out when he called me the next day.
"Hello?" I said groggily, because, hey. Being called up at 6 in the morn in something that no girl - or guy - is ever used to.
"Kath?"
It was Chaz.
& that was how I was waiting for him & Grant at the Cough for Coff cafe 5 minutes later.
"Hey." Chaz - I mean, Grant - said as he slipped into the chair across me.
"Hey." I said, sipping my hot Mocha.
When you stand in front of a cafe for even more than a minute during an autumn season here, you'd probably freeze your toes off. The best cure?
The cup of coffee I was drinking.
"So why the important call? Has Chaz found out?" Grant asked as he blew the steam off his cup of coffee - black.
I couldn't put my finger on what he was talking about - Chaz finding out that the dude who was "hugging" me was Grant or about being turned into Grant.
"Yup." I said, just picking option number two.
"Oh."
I filled him in on my suspicions of Madame Vista.
He nodded his head & said, "It makes sense. Wish I could help but I didn't hear the chant. At that time, everything was just a blur. The woman must be a witch.”
I thought about that.
If I’d been that 7-year old kid, I’d bounce up & down because all kids were all about magic, thanks to the hit version of Do you believe in magic? by Aly & AJ.
But now… I’m a little cynical on magic. & love, it seemed.
The bell chimed & everyone in the cafe looked at the doorway - it was Grant - I mean, Chaz.
I waved my hand at him & walked towards our direction.
“Hi.” he said.
It was just a hi. Chaz had never said hi to me since the 6th grade - a year before we were together.
But what do I care? We weren’t even “together” in the first place.
“Hi.” I said back - that was my first hi to him. We’re even.
Grant - being very oblivious for such a grand spy - just looked at him & gave him a nod.
Chaz just stared at Grant in horror as he sat down next to him.
“Y-you… You’re me.” Chaz managed to say.
His face looked like the kind you’d see in those horror movies when they saw a vampire or something - drained.
It's not his fault.
It must have felt like seeing your own reflection, only it's not mirroring you.
Although, I couldn't help admiring how Grant took it, comparing to Chaz.
He was just talking to Chaz coolly like some long-time acquaintance instead of some guy who happens to be in your body.
Seriously.
He's got that whole James-Bond-coolness thing on the pat, as much as I'd hate to admit.
We explained to Chaz the matter in a calm manner, trying to calm the guy down - no piece of cake.
But Chaz decided it was better to just keep quiet & nod his head instead of screaming & swearing like a maniac, which was good.
"Ya, hello?" the wispy voice said - the same voice which announced my spy partner & ex's name when they were on her stage.
"Hi, Madam Vista. It's Kathleen here. I'm just a really big fan of yours. I was really impressed with those t-"
I couldn't believe that I could lie so fast - & that much.
It's like I had no control of my own mouth.
Thankfully, the fortune teller opened her mouldy door of her trailer & let us in.
I kinda had to hold back my gasp of astonishment when I saw the inside of her trailer - it looked way bigger than it did on the outside.
The stench of the trailer, I couldn't say much.
I tore my eyes off the starry ceiling & looked at Madame Vista - she didn't look so vista at the time. She was smoking a cigarette & had on a worn-out robe & a rag instead of her glittery turban.
Although, the cheap rhinestones on her fingers were still in place.
"I brought along a friend. I hope you don't mind." I said as Grant entered the trailer.
He - or Chaz. Whatever - looked out of place.
The trailer seemed to shrunk when he entered - his tall frame just happened to do that to the environment.
Madame Vista's bored eyes went explicably wide when she saw him, but she kept quiet.
"Seems that... He's had a problem." I said, getting a little impatient that she hasn't cracked yet.
Grant put a hand on my shoulder & I could already hear his message : 'Easy there, slugger.'
"Oh? A problem, you say?" she said, sounding convincingly uninterested.
"Yes. A problem." Grant said.
She looked startled & I couldn't help noticing that she seemed to sweat a little.
& I don't think it's because of the lack of air-conditiong, either.
I don't blame her.
Chaz has a tall frame so he can easily scare anyone - but he's not like that.
Come to think of it, I don't know what he's like anymore.
"You see, I think that... I don't know, something's changed." he continued, pacing up & down in that tiny trailer.
"Reely?" she said with her heavy accent.
Grant nodded his head vigorously.
"& so was that guy with me that night. What was his name, Kath?"
"Chaz." I said sweetly.
"Right. Chaz. He has a problem too. & I don't know what it is. Just can't figure out what."
He pronounced "can't" as "cahn't" unlike us - "caaayn't".
Intriguing.
The clock was ticking & she was still looking at her glued-on rhinestones.
Were all fortune tellers like this? Be all psychotic on switching teen souls into different bodies & act like nothing happened & jewellery-blind?
She looked up from her rhinestones & finally said in a bored voice, "Fine. Fine. You keeds are making too big offa deal from zis. I am doing favour to you. I sensed great distress between two gentlemen & I help. Iz zere grattitude for Vista? No! Complain, complain, complain!"
Add touchy to the fortune teller list.
Then, she pointed her finger at me.
"You girl... No clue! No clue what happening between you. So many people loves you & you take for granted. You are blind! Zere so many people loving you - that boy & this. So I settle with it."
What? What the heck was she talking about?
"That boy & this"? Please!
She makes me sound like some... Some social butterfly or whatever.
Believe me. I'm no social butterfly.
More like a caterpillar. Something there.
You get the idea.
I looked at Grant, wonderng what he thought about her delusional rants.
He, for some weird reason, kept looking at his feet & his face was a little red around the ears.
Huh. The room must be too stuffy for this guy - poor dude.
I decided to say something, because the silence was too deafening. “Why? Why switch their bodies? I mean, they haven’t done anythi-”
“You stupid girl!” she bursted, flinging her arms everywhere. “You no understand? They are fighting! You blind. You-”
She started saying some weird words in some language - & I think it’s safe to guess that she’s swearing at me with her home language.
Great.
Some foreign fortune teller who wears glued-on rhinestones was swearing at me in some language that I didn't learn in school.
I seriously think that I should get paid for this job or something.
I kept quiet & said in a small voice, after she stopped her foreign swearing tantrum, "So when're they going to go back?"
She looked at her watch & gave a small smile.
"Right... Now."
Like the day before, the lights in her trailer started to flicker.
Then, I knew it was the real thing - no illusion, no guy standing near the lights.
The only thing that I could see was Grant - or Chaz. I didn't know who.
He was glowing & suddenly, the lights went back on.
Right on the dot, he passed out.
Well. At least we're even.
